http://xjojox.buzznet.com/user/journal/ en-us http://xjojox.buzznet.com/user/journal/24879/ That doesn't really express it correctly.

I EFFING L♥VE MUSIC.

Seriously. I imagine this as my own personal heaven: large room, bright, sunshine staining the walls, fluffy cotton-candy floors that bounce like a trampoline but snuggle better than even [the atomic bunny] or Jinx's soft fur. And speakers with incredible, earth shattering volume.

I realize it sounds simple, and perhaps after arriving there I might decide that I'll need some more provisions, but ideally it's perfect.

Music, lyrics, beats, thumping, harmonies, all of these things are so dependable it probably makes many of you cringe. As if more than 20% of this list has actually read this far...but nonetheless. The deal is this: music is dependable. Music is emotional when I can't be. It helps me decipher the whole messiness that is human behavior. I admire music, all of it, the crappy to the contemporary, American Idol to The Who, Oakenfold to DJ Spree (Happy Hardcore for those wondering).

So my conclusion is this: music=dependable and appropriately emotional. people=not at all. meh. Here's where I make some promise to stop caring about all the flaws of others, but I never stick to it, so why even make more false promises? Exactly.

Discovering new music is my new best friend.

Good night Wisconsin.]]> Buzznet xjojox 2006-05-27T22:55:15Z http://xjojox.buzznet.com/user/journal/16634/ it amuses me to no end that people might think that being "emo" is out of character for me. i'm awesome at it.

and no, this is not a mad-at-someone post, these are my free-flowing thoughts - no thinking before i type. that's just not my style these days.

needless to say i hate myself for being let down.
i hate myself more for letting these emotions stain my cheeks.
it's no longer about when I'll lose the battle, and lose the war too; it's about what i see happening and where i see it taking me.
i ask the questions in my head and find myself answering them out loud.

i can't control the memories that bleed into the present, they cloud my vision with messy fears that no one can explain.

i curled my fingers around your thumb, felt the heat come from being wrapped up in you. but now i cant seem to find the truth in between  the magical velvet curtains.
i just wish it was all simpler, but that's what we always say.

i'm not anything more than a girl. just bits of stardust all crammed together in one miniature package. and not so long ago i felt like i was a true star, someone who belonged in the heavens and couldn't be broken at all. silly silly me.]]> Buzznet xjojox 2006-03-31T13:39:00Z http://xjojox.buzznet.com/user/journal/16264/
So those are my dreams
And these are my eyes
Stand tall like a man
Head a strong like a horse

When it’s all mixed up
Better break it down
In the world of secrets
In the world of sound

It’s in the way you’re always hiding from the light
See for yourself you have been sitting on a time bomb
No revolution maybe someone somewhere else
Could show you something new about you and your inner song
And all the love and all the love in the world
Won’t stop the rain from falling
Waste seeping underground
I want to break it down

Break it down again

So these are my schemes
And these are my plans
Hot tips for the boys
Fresh news from the force

When it’s all mixed up
Better break it down
In the world of silence
In the world of sound

No sleep for dreaming say the architects of life
Big bouncing babies, bread and butter can I have a slice
They make no mention of the beauty of decay
Blue, yellow, pink umbrella save it for a rainy day
And all the love and all the love in the world
Won’t stop the rain from falling
Waste seeping underground
I want to break it down

Horsin’ around
Pray to power
Play to the crowd with your big hit sound
And they won’t simmer won’t simmer, won’t simmer down
Play to the crowd
Play to the crowd
Play yeah yeah

It’s in the way you’re always hiding from the light
Fast off to heaven just like moses on a motorbike
No revolution maybe someone somewhere else
Could show you something new to help you
With the ups and downs
I want to break it down
Break it down again

Break it down again
No more sleepy dreaming
No more building up
It is time to dissolve
Break it down it again
No more sleepy dreaming

---Tears for fears | Break it down again
]]> Buzznet xjojox 2006-03-28T21:53:46Z